Posted by: Corina Paraschiv | February 5, 2009

To Each their Pace

I want to dedicate this post to A.R.

I’ve been talking about “living at my own pace” in a rather recurrent manner these last few weeks — whether it’s about how yoga unrushingly allows you to take your time, or about stopping and looking around when traveling, or even about how you can slow down in your daily life and listen to your body.  But I had yet to experience it in its integrity.

Well, this week, it happened.  It hit me as I hung up last night with my boyfriend — that I had called to say goodnight and return his call, and he picked up on the fact that I was tired and needed to sleep and so he didn’t insist on talking or taking news or anything of the sort.  He just wished me a very great night and I was able to sleep and dream of little dreams.

It felt amazing to have someone respect my own pace.  Not only me living it, but someone else respect it, too.  And it’s quite funny because I used to think I would only be happy if I’d be surrounded by people who all had the same pace as me.  I used to be convinced it would all be so much simpler if say my boyfriend would need the same amount of sleep, or had the same amount of energy or whatnot than I.  I was convinced this would just settle it and I’d be happy.  And now I realize it’s ok not to have the same pace as someone .

I look at it now and I understand a lot more than I did before.  I did this once, not so long ago, when rushing into a friendship, wanting to engage with the other at a pace that was not his.  And he was met with utter confusion and hurt on my side when he did not follow the pace.   But I realize now that there is nothing wrong with different paces — that what passed for complete lack of interest might have just been a different lifestyle, and different needs.

No one is better placed than yourself to assess your needs, and help others to respect them by voicing them.  Having been the one now who was rushed into a frenzic pace that wasn’t hers, I now have a newfound appreciation for respecting other people’s paces.  That’s freedom in action.

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